Friday, November 20, 2009 @
I think there's some misunderstanding between everyone. I can understand why he asked me not to drop any comments about Su Hui, but, i really never. I never side ruth with anything too, as a friends i can only be her listening ears. Why things get so complicated? I've always treated her as my friend until one day she refuese to talk. Imangine she's talking to someone else, why didn't i move forward as i thought that they're having talk between them. But, i never act as if i very dao. Does this make others feel that i'm dao and i'm the one who choose not to talk? Even until now, i know Su Hui feels that she got nothing to talk to me cause she feel that i'm very dao, things is not like what she think. Why things get so complicated? No one seems to understand how i feel. Being close is cause we're farted to be friends but that doesn't mean i'll side her for anything. I feel so tired of everything, is my attitude really that bad? Who ever treat me nice, of cuz i'lll treat them nice. Who will treat the person who treat them not nice so nicely? Right? After hearing what they said, i finally realised how much i meant to them. Who can accept being accuse by the one you love or your friends? They always want me to understand them but who can understand me? They don't understand until now, but still, they even think that i get myself involved with their things. I never! I'm only ruth listening ears and i never teach her what to do. I don't want to get into the picture too, but, as a friend what i can do is only to be her listening ears and to be there when she need me. Even if Su Hui and i are still friends, i'll do the same thing too. Is not because i'm close to ruth and i support her. Who can understand what friends is for? When i treat a person nice, no one think that i'm nice. When i treat a person nasty, others will think that i'm not a nice person. I feel so miserable at this moments of time, i'm in a lost, don't know what should i do.... Always get scolded by others, i feel so tired. Not even my parents bear to scold me like the way they scolded me. Things doesn't always goes the way i want, i can either live or run away from it, but how long can i run? I'm afraid that i might not be able to run anymore. I think is time i should learn to let thing go easily and try to understand them better. Lost abit doesn't matter much right? As long as i can stand and think on the positive side i believe no matter how hard i have to go tut, i can do it. Where is my never say die attitude? I feel really hurt today, the pain that i have never gone tut before. No matter what happen in future, no matter who is in the fault, i'll just take it and i promise i'll never let it affect my mood. Promise this will be the last time i cried unless someone worth my tears.........
